Well it wasn’t just a depressive episode..

I had a good start to October, all pieces were starting to come together, I had a trek planned in the middle of the month, I had restarted work on 2 projects - McDuck_2.0 and Gecco, I visited Nani and spent some time with her, had my best friend fly back to India, and had a good weekend with my best friends. It was a good month in all respects, except that I have been having a much larger than normal depressive episode - that constant sense of despair, and failure. I also started more documentation this month - trading log and a feeling log, and also spoke to a counsellor, some professional should help hopefully.

Recapping October 2021

I became more regular at my gym this past month and also had a fantastic trek to Naag Tibba ( couple of hours away from Mussoorie, where we also stopped for dinner on on our way back). I also met an interesting person, he is a friend to my father, but we kinda hit off during the Naag Tibba trek. This guy has given me major fitness goals - at 48 years old, this person works out for ~3hours everyday doing mostly yoga and stretching but also cardio, he walks/ treks to Manali (~300Km) among other places every year for fun, very chilled out person (I am not sure how he is my father’s friend though). I visited and spent a day with my grandmother, rode my motorcycle all the way there and back, and that was a lot off fun. A lot of my depressive episodes, I realized this month were triggered by bad days in the stock market, and they just spiralled out of control, so now i spent some time re-evaluating my trading approach and style, hopefully this works. My innate sense of failure and not accomplishing anything also comes from my inability to define accommplishment, so I am planning to define accomplishment in this next month, hopefully will find the right balance of not too low a bar and too high a bar.

Personal Development

  • Nothing too much to report here unfortunately. Did not actually work much on myself this month, just went through the motions

Other interests

  • Nothing of note here. Did watch a lot of TV/ Movies etc

Books/ Audiobooks/ Podcasts

  • Homo Deus - Read a major chunk of the book, on track of finishing this particular one in the first half of next month

Excercise/ Workout

  • gym + golf

Projects

  • Project Gecco - Made some modifications to the design, added a static bar on the top, added a recipes details page.

  • Project McDuck - Same old story. Blew up my account again, after making good money. Umm.. yeah, this is not working out the way i imagined. I am skipping expiry trading completely from now on. Blew up a lot of my hard earned (? I really dont work hard, but yeah it is a phrase) money.